Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tone it Down

Paul mentioned to me what I could improve on. Here is something that will be of help to me in bars where my energy level could tone down a little bit. I do this naturally at times, its just in set at times...i try to do tests of compliance a bit rushed too much sometimes lol. Also, have some substance for her to then be able to latch on to for the next meetup or later that night. But this in some cases, other cases...stay the way you are! Don't over do it! Keep doing what your doing but also adjust based on the situation. The article does describe me well, very strong in higher/good energy environments but weak in low energy ones.

Tone It Down – Energy Level and Flake Prevention
by Ryan(RSD)

Hey Guys,

I wanna talk about a pretty simple principal that is seldom talked about and massively difficult to convert internalize as a behavior. This ability, while seemingly counter-productive and hugely challenging to integrate, can make a world of difference in your game in terms of Actually CLOSING versus just getting rapid attraction. I’m talking about Low Energy Game here, where the players play and the aspiring test their merits.

There’s a pattern in this community – it looks like this.

Stage 1.) Low Energy Beginner – This is what you see in guys with nearly 0 reference experience with girls. Their low energy level is reflective of insecurity as the guy feels stifled and possibly unworthy of animated self-expression. Or, it may simply be the guy is unused to self-expression – the challenge here is to get him to actually turn it up, SMILE, express, and essentially be fun.

Stage 2.) Entertainer Man – This is the most talked about stage, where most community guys live. The energy level is turned up as a way of maintaining interest and generating attraction. The interest and positive feedback from girls becomes addictive, so most guys never advance past this stage – they end up getting decent results doing this, a few lays here and there, lots of club makeouts, but have huge flake rates.

Stage 3.) Sex Worthy Man – The phrase is talked about a lot, along with catch phrases like “self-amusing”, “internally validated”, and “abundance mentality” – and these are actually spot on. The trouble is these are abstract concepts that can be difficult to codify into actual behaviors. I’ll leave it to The Blueprint to vivisect these principals and focus my attention here to an outer-game principal that distinguishes the good from the elite.

One of the biggest rushes when learning game comes from the discovery of Flash Game – when you realize you can enter a set, pump energy level, get attraction and escalate, all within the first 2 minutes. You think “my god I’m good…I can make out with and girl in 30 seconds...” Problem comes when you either A.) Try to extract for sex or B.) Can’t get her to meet you for a day 2. The problem here is Substance – or a lack there of. With flash game emotional spiking take the place of substance, your essence is fluid giving the girl nothing to latch onto, nothing to associate with you other than a sugar-rush like burst of energy. This can be a great skill to have, and with practice you can even sometimes convert the attraction from flash game into ONS or Day2s, but it’s also going to lead to worlds of frustration.

I used to be hugely into Brazillian Jiu Jitsu – my life revolved around it. I’ll never forget my instructor once explaining to me: “You only start learning Jiu Jitsu after you’ve gotten your black belt”. The same goes with game – the first phases are about learning the different elements of calibration, learning to read situations and developing that razor sharp field intuition, mastering the ability to pump state and generate emotional spikes. Once you’ve got all these pieces in place, all these tools at your disposal, that’s when the real learning starts, and there begins the real crystallization of yourself, your essence, your being. Here also begins the real challenge – it’s time to stop relying on energy level and flash to generate attraction, and instead use the only piece that is really YOU, that piece being your PRESENCE.

Once you’ve mastered the art of pumping energy level to generate attraction and maintain interest – it’s time to STOP relying on energy level and move on, grow up, advance. Tone it down. Think you’re good? Can you be the lowest energy guy in the room and STILL get the girl?

Learning to game at a lower energy level was one of the toughest things I’ve had to internalize. But after being driven crazy by a high flake rate, it became a clear necessary step in my advancement.

In true Alex~ fashion, a visual to really drive the point home…

Learning to game at a low energy level was tough for 2 reasons – 1.) I had years of experience gaming with high energy, it was an alien behavior to me, and 2.) I had grown addicted to the intense attraction I could build with a high energy level.

The problem is, with enough experience you realize ATTRACTION IS AN EMOTION. Nothing more. Just like you can go from sad to happy, a girl can go from attracted to not. Going further, moods are state-associated. Meaning, the moods you feel in a club are going to be associated with being IN THE CLUB, and are quick to fade once you’ve left the club environment and the club state.

This is why a girl can be clinging to your sweater desperate to not be separated from you at the end of the night, but won’t even return your texts the next day.

And to be fair, what did you expect? You cheated J You used energy level (state) to generate the attraction. She lost state when she went home, with it went her attraction.

Next time you’re out, see how far you can really push the low-energy envelope while still generating attraction. And if you can do that, enjoy the benefits when you call the next day and you’re able to pick up the interaction right where you left off J

The two key tools to help you with your new lower-energy game are Brevity and Rapport Breaking Tonality. I can and will be writing to explain both in-depth, along with some other lower energy techniques – until then I challenge you to tone it down and find out just how much attraction you’re generating with substance and presence rather than with energy level and state.

Until Next Time,

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