Friday, September 26, 2008

9/12-9/26: Too Much To Update

Aright, i haven't updated this blog in a few weeks considering i've been lazy as hell with it. But i'll pretty much summarize how its been:

Day Game:
My God, Flake City. Haven't met up with any girls in the past two weeks...but the way i've been gaming, its expected to get flakes considering u only have 1-2 minutes for her to have interest and most of the time it aint enough as it prolly would take a lil longer for a girl to keep that attraction. Other times, its been in those few minutes they were dazzled, but that feeling went away as they thought rationally, and social conditioning can get in the way. I've seen a few girls whom flaked me around. Most of the girls i won't acknowledge unless they say something to me. One of them tried to give the excuse of being too busy to answer my facebook message to her, but i said in an aloof manner, "Thats fine" I bet she felt guilty. one of the girls also flaked on me, but she prolly doesn't remember considering she keeps looking at me and smiles but i don't think much of it. Also, i've decided to just approach girls leaving the lab, since they're less prone to be affected by ASD when there other people in the lab who can watch them. Now if they're in a corner, then thats fine...but if there in the middle of other people, then i just wait till they leave...but this has limited me...as some girls leave fast and im not able to catch them. I think im holding back a little there.
girls right "IN" the lab where there are lots of people

Night Game:
Haven't done this much. Actually went to my bud's house to party, but i had to hold back game plus the girls just wanted to talk to the people they knew and talk about whatever bullshit drama they wanted, plus i got kicked out of a party cuz i was gaming. I realized Chill Parties aint for me, because it holds me back and i don't care drinking lots just for the sole purpose of it. I've done it for a while and don't care for it. But I can honestly say, i'm almost got laid a week ago...but her conditioning was challenging her. Was at a party and she was the next door neighbor to the people there. This week i mainly went to my friends' apt again where girls were there, but then i realize...those kinds of parties weren't the place for me. I needed to go somewhere where i didn't have to hold back and everything was in an equal playing field. I know the guys who i got to party with couldn't game at a frat party but only at a place where they had homefield advantage. Now if i had the game i had now and i had homefield advantage, i wonder...how good would i be? I say this, because im use to not having homefield advantage...i think if i had homefield advantage...my game would def increase in that situation.

Friday, September 12, 2008

9/11

Thursday, do even more approaches...tried to set up a day 2 with a girl for friday.
Ok, after doing some cold approaches, finally...i got to go eat with another really cute girl. When i called her and she didn't respond, at first i thought she was avoiding it, but then it turned out that she was just sleeping as she drank too much the previous night. We ate at Chi-Fil-A before she had to go to a sorority interest meeting. I enjoyed talking to her. The way she talks is funny, it didn't bore me. We could relate on some levels, and she knew i was into her. There was some flirting going on and i could tell she liked it.

After the day 2 i had on this day, i felt an adrenaline rush, i looked at girls even more confidentally, i went up this one sexy dressed girl and she showed LOTS of IOIs, she was playing with her hair like CRAZY...but then sadly she waiting for her bf to pick her up for her 20th birthday. She looked at me as i was walking away, and then i saw her bf's car drive up and he picked her up. Approached another girl, hot blonde during the night time on campus, but i think the chances of her responding to my call/text are only 25%.

At Night, went to Riley's again and my fucking god it was so fun, packed, and the girls were having fun and were nice. i think i tried to game like 20. The first one i gamed, was a friend of one of the girls whom i think was into me back in the day but her bf was at Iraq. I whispered in ear, both of ur friends are hot! while blantaly looking at both of the friends while whipsering in the girl's ear. The iraq bf girl told them what i said, and the nose pierce girl who was cute, she was like "I think he's hot too!" So then i have a devilish smile, and i lead her to the dance floor. She is touching me sexually, while i do the same. We then make out for two minutes, BUT her ASD comes into where she asks where Iraq bf girl where she's at, and then she has them come with her. But it was still fun making out with her.

The black girls around see me and are talking about wat i was doing. Was funny.haha. Gave Hi Fives to quite a few people i knew. One girl had a Marilyn Monroe Hairstyle that i met before, was a sorority girl. She hot. I play with it, and i could there was sexual attraction between us. Eventho she leaves, we both spank each other's ass. I dance with other girls, and talk to them, but some try to cockblock while i ignore them but game other girls. One black girl i tried to dance with, commented on my confidence.

Saw another sorority girl i knew, here's where i beleive there's improvement. I notice her rack and say, Oh man... i can't stop looking at that dress....especially since how much its showing ur rack. She is smiling but a little embarrased and she pulls it up. Im laughing and saying, "u know u like me looking at it" She laughs a lil shyly and says that its all she got. I tell her, "hell no...look at ur ass and face" She laughs. I tell her friend to show me her ass, and its nice, tight and toned. They then say how it both works out since one has tits the other ass some ass. haha.

I had afew beers but i wasn't "Drunk" Just barely tyspy, but to be perfectly honest...i don't think the alcohol had much to do with tonight, as other nights i can def tell when it does.

Saw a blonde girl whom we both checked each other out from time to time in the past. We are easily talking, go for the kiss but she rejects it as she says she has a bf and walks away. Another girl im dancing with on a poll. My face is close to hers. Her teeth were really white and she had such a good smile. she was a small pretty cute brunette. I was about to kiss her after i turn her around, but she had to go. lol.

Another small thin, long haired brunette i talk to. She tells me after a few minutes, to give her some space. She then says, "She hates to say that as people thought of her as a bitch for it" I tell her, "oh no...i give u more respect for being honest, i even want my space sometimes" Im still talking to her and dancing. Im playing with her hair, but then i could tell she doesn't like it, i then tell her i was gonna kiss her, and she says she has a bf of 6 years. Believe her or not? hard to say. So then i leave.

The night was good overall, gamed quite a bit...had lots of fun.

9/9 and 9/10

Tuesday Night, after the venting from my previous post, i then decided to go out at ladies night at the bar. I had a fun time. Most of the girls i went up to were receptive, just that their friends were cockblocking. Another i tried to do "Amazing Sadness Kiss" but she didn't want to. One girl did the Ethnicity game, we both smacked each other's asses.One girl was pretty receptive at first, but then when i was joking with her that since she had those "loop" earrings, that she liked black guys, she walked away(Afew other girls in the past thought it was pretty funny tho and were still into me), so she was weird. One of the cockblocking girls said "eww" when i touched her shoulder to cue her to let me through so i could get my beer, i ignore her, and i'm thinking, "She's weird...." Then another girl i gamed in the past gave that same look.

But then my last approach was a Tall, Slim beautful brunette, to me a 9. She was shockingly nice. She was nice to most guys there, but i think she had some interest atleast. She and the DJ were drinking and talking together. I still went up to her. She was nice. I told her she was beautiful and that it excited me. She seemed flustered and very flattered. I was leading and being dominant, by having her tell me about herself. I took her by the hand and was about to have her sit down with me, but she said that her drinks were with the DJ. She was smiling all the time i was talking to her. I then wave and say, "Bye :-)" But then she looks back and laughs. But she's staying there, i then say "Aright...u can get ur drink and then we can sit down" We're walking and then i see she goes to the DJ. But i still think it was good game on my part, just wrong timing.

On Wednesday, I do some approaches i forget where. Some were interested i could see, while others were on a rush. One of the girls was the one i had a day 2 with. Wednesday Night, i went to a small party, that only had two girls and most were guys. the Guys were dancing with each other(No homo) just funny shit.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Letting Go: Sky's Special Thoughts

Letting Go of the bitterness in the game. Its something thats very hard. All the flakes, rejection, bad reactions, lead ons, and lack of a lay in 4 years def took a toll on me this week. What triggered the bitterness to really go through my head was when i called a girl and a couple of her friends were laughing and then one guy said wrong number dude, and i heard her in the background laughing.

She knew it was me. I was so angry, that i literally wanted to throw my cell phone on the wall and break it. But it was not the fact that i got a flake from her, it was that they were laughing. In my mind i was like "How dare they laugh at something that wasn't suppose to be funny" Then as im walking around campus angry, the people i knew who said hi to me....that brought back up my spirits and remembered how many people i met, the ones i've helped out, the ones who helped out me when i needed and my friends who support what i'm doing.

I then talked to fellow "Wings" On AIM and they cheered me up. The past week and half back at school i felt some disappointment, because i set my expectations too high of getting some good lays. So then i decided that i needed to vent out.

When i was in my apartment, i cried out my frustration and vented out how i was fustrated in the game. But then after i did with all the negative memories i had of girls whom i messed up with or how they didn't like me, i then remember all the good things that happened. From all the girls i flirted with, two how many girls i went up to who had a smile on their face and a sparkle in their eyes, the girls whom underestimated the mack in me...when they first were playing hard to get but noticed i was gaming other girls, the girls whom tried to criticize my pickup tendencies who couldn't logicially repond back to my responses, the girls whom i vowed that i would game...and whom i did and gave it my best shot, the amount of people i met whom was a result of who i was just being me, the people who helped me out when i was at mental hell and had social anxiety. I then truly realized that night how much i really did change as a result of going at it, in the game.

I remember back when i was almost 20 years old after my sophmore year of college, of the amount of opportunities i wish i could take, or the amount of hot girls i wanted to game, but could do nothing about. Of how after pledging 2 fraternities that i still did not get laid, all that frustration led me to wanting to be fully active in the game(not just being a KJ). Since that day, i've been going at it, and two years later, i still have not given up on that dream of mine, to become a playboy.

I'm glad that i let go of all the bitterness in the past. Now will i still be a little bitter, from time to time? Of course, its human nature. But really, i do know that a lesser man would've given up by now, considering how much i've approached and felt frustrated, but recently...i realized that i truly progressed. Sure, maybe i haven't gotten a lay, but what truly matters is the courage, the guts, and the persistence to never give up. I have never been so passionate about something in my life more than this. I do realize this is suppose to happen, as in my past, despite being chodeish, i still gave it a shot with some girls. From passing notes to girls back freshman and sophmore year in HS, to now going up to the girls i most desire, i'd say this is suppose to happen, living the life of seduction.

Now i have even more of a reason to go out and get rejected more, go out and approach more, go out and go for the kiss more, go out and get more extractions, go out and get through shields, go out and to win. I'll let all the past frustration mostly go and look to the gaming i still got to do :-)
Still Got 8 More Weeks Of Night Game till i reach the twenty, last week i don't really count as it was more for tune up. But i'll write up what happens this week.

Also I forgot, the women whom flat out rejected me in the past, i give them respect, because i didn't waste time with them and im getting closer to the ones that are meant for me to have sex with. The women whom lost interest, i still give respect in the fact that i did indeed learn something that some girls are weird in terms of what turns them off while i also am learning to fix my sticking points and mistakes. The women who lead on and then flake or couldn't just say the truth, no need for them...i can do better then what they are. I will attracted hotter and better girls than them. Thats the truth.

And i totally forgot its only been 12 Days Since i've been on campus, still got lots of gaming to do this semester. Hell this is the most i've ever gamed in a semester ever in my 4 years of college so far....thats def an improvement. haha. Cuz, My first year, i just did frat parties and grinded with girls. Second Year, i just pledged 2 frats and lost any game i had, third year i was approaching and my fourth year, gamed more but lacked consistency...but then the end of the fourth year i been consistent ever since. Now its just a matter of getting there. Even last night when i vented i realized, that hell maybe a lay won't come for a VERY LONG TIME! But what's important is still giving it a shot for the many girls i see around that i will give it a shot too. Then when i leave, i can still feel proud that i did something about going for what i want :-)

Monday, September 8, 2008

9/7 and 9/8

SUNDAY

First was a blonde girl on a bench. She was shy, but a little receptive. Chatted with her a few minutes, told her that we can eat on Tuesday at Au Bon Pain, she said sure...told her around 10 AM...wanted to get her number but she didn't want to give it, so then i told her "Will she remember?" She said yea, then i said "But wat if something comes up?" She tells me "Why would it with u? :-P" was kinda funny situation, so we set it up for tuesday at 10Am, but the chances of it happening are small since eventho she said she'd write it down the time, that she didn't seem excited about the idea.

Sunday at the lab, hesistated to approach this hot volleybal girl, but when i did, she was pretty receptive but told me genuinely she had a bf(in the way that it doesn't seem bullshit, plus she's a junior...so why not). At the library, did three approaches. First was a nice body brunette with long hair and got a hippie vibe. I stopped her directly, but she said she was gonna go back to studying.

NOTE: Here, u tell the girl...well thats fine, as it was only gonna take a minute, but i gave it up too fast.

The second approach, which was funny, was a redhaired girl that i went up to during the summer who flaked on me but forgot was her until after the approach. Things went good so far, UNTIL she then remembers me, and she gave me a flake number again. haha. I call it the next day and its her friend's number who gives me her "new" number. i call it, but no response. NEXT.

The third approach, was this hot 1/2 asian cheerleader girl. I approached her directly, but didn't say a direct opening line. She's receptive, i dunno her interest...but i tell her that we're gonna eat during the week. I get her facebook.

MONDAY

Went up to this hot, curly haired dark brunette girl with shades with a russian accent. Sexy. I kinda just start talking to her. I notice her beforehand she notices me, we both have shades, but i think we noticed each other. While talking to her, just the same talk as my other approaches. Then i decide to go set something up for starbucks at 5PM tomorrow, she said sure. I then go for the number but she didn't want to. At the time, im feeling like "If i try to pursue the number too fast, i'll lose something good since i got nothing much yet" Stupid negative thoughts. So then i told her that something could come up but she says she's aright. So then i tell her, three times, "u sure u'll remember" She says yea...lol. So then this one is prolly only 40% chance of happening. We'll see.

Was mad at the cafeteria from the RSD Forums giving advice on how i should do a social circle in college. The thing is, i don't want to do one. I want to cold approach first, as social circles seem too much effort. I don't care for meeting up with friends that much to be honest. I then feel doubt that maybe social circle is the only way that i'd succeed and that cold approaching was worthless. But then i realize, despite all this doubt and negativity in my mind for the past week, that it wasn't worthless and that i keep doing what i do...as i met so many people from just doing game, and how i met so many people on my own without "relying" on connections, course some were from me pledging two frats and being a brother in a third.

So then, i decide on campus to stop two girls around campus, but one of them was late for a meeting and i didn't want to tie her up. Another was a girl whom told me off the bat that she was taken. Did another in the lab, whom i think we had a lil e/c before. When i go up to her, she doesn't seem that interested, but i keep plowing, so then i say "tell me about urself' but then she says she just wants to continue printing stuff off and go home. I decide to leave, i figure persisting with it would be pointless.

Got two things set up for tomorrow, doubt they'll happen but maybe they will. Who knows. Just got to go to them. lol

Rest of Week 1 of My Final Semester Update(LONG)

Aright guys, for the first week of my final semester….negativity hit me big despite going up to some girls. Lets see…for the next few days, went up to some girls. One girl I messaged, told me she had a steady boyfriend. Another, whom I told her I was gonna come over, asked if she knew where I lived, I didn’t and asked her, got no response. On Friday, messaged her about eating with her. But she tried to say she had a bf, texting her, I decided to not give up and said “my gf wouldn’t like it either, but lets do it anyway :-p” Then I get a missed call from her “boyfriend” but in reality was just a male friend of hers I guess. Said how I “freaked her out” or whatever bullshit and how I prolly am a nice guy. I felt down not cuz of that, but it felt like cold approaching on campus was just too hard. But then I decided to not give up.

Another asian girl I went up to, got her room number but couldn’t visit her since dorm halls are locked at all times now this semester, should’ve gotten her number regardless of resistence. A cute black haired girl I went up to, but turned out she had a bf on facebook. During the next few days, went up to another girl under a tree but she told me genuinely she had a bf and didn’t want me to put so much in and what not. I respected that from her. Gorgeous brunette, kinda didn’t go for the number at lunch…as I kinda let her go…eventho her interest was good I’d say…prolly felt social pressure from her friends. Have done some lab approaches with quite a bit of people around, afew of the girls just wanted to focus on what they’re doing, one had a bf, I forgot the other ones I did there. I notice in the lab I tend to speak much softer and quieter as I feel that I’d be “disturbing” and probably feel a little more self conscious gaming, since these are people I repeatedly see, but why should I give a fuck, ya know? I did a few more but I forgot how they went. Oh yea, seen the girl I went up to at the mall a month ago who is a freshman here and she’s happy to see me.

For parties and night game. Wednesday, I drank with a few buds, felt sad after considering I felt like I didn’t do that well. Thursday, didn’t go to ladies night at Rileys but drank with a few people. Friday, went to their apartment again, gamed a fat chick…whom rejected me kissing her. I’m like “WTF” haha. But then I thought to myself after, “Why in the hell did I go for her?” I should’ve gone for the chick whom was cute and showed IOIs in the past, whom still did. I guess I wanted more of a guranteed lay or something like that. Saturday, went to a frat party I was formerly associated with(as a brother) was mostly guys, some girls…didn’t really game there. Was one girl I saw before, just commented on her dyed hair. She acted unimpressed or like she had attitude. She’s like, “I don’t remember you” in a standoffish way, I tell her, “Well quite frankly…I don’t remember you either :-p” and I turn my back. Passively she says “ok”. I don’t want to deal with attitude like that…plus I wasn’t really trying to flat out seduce her honestly, just made convo for a few minutes. One of the bros kicked me out cuz he knew I didn’t like him, while other brothers didn’t want to have me leave, but realized he was causing WAY TOO MUCH of a ruckus and that I didn’t want the party to be totally over just cuz of one brother’s insecurities. He was a coward for not confronting me directly about it. And its all cuz I hated him/didn’t like him. If someone didn’t like me/hated me at a party I hosted, as long as he didn’t do shit…I wouldn’t care…I wouldn’t acknowledge the bastard unless he did “something”.

After, went to the bar…I didn’t game there either. I just drank and talked to some people. I did game a lil bit with some women, one of them I tried to isolate but she didn’t want to and her friends were like “this is my gf” I told her, “Don’t worry, she’s mine too” they laughed. Another woman earlier in the night I told her she had a good ass. She was pretty drunk. Every few minutes she’d look at me, and to be funny I’d smile or say something, she’d look away then look back again and stuff. I could tell she trying to play hard to get/aloof…but there was attraction between us. She then says she’s engaged, and in a sarcastic manner im like “yea..im engaged too, happened two days ago” she’s like “Nice try” I tell her, “Yea…it was nice of me wasn’t it? :-P” was a funny situation. After that bar, I got to another…guess who I see? The big ass girl from whom I had my first day 2 of the year at, playing pool. I was drunk, man…her ass was really nice and I just couldn’t stop looking at it. Gamed her friend a lil but since I was drunk and in my own head, I only spoke to her for a few minutes and didn’t want to play pool with them. Oh yea, at the first bar did an approach of this hot girl, but then her female friend comes and I can sense that she likes me. She’s just as good looking. She tells me to go to the next bar with them, but then I tell her I’d prolly be over there later. I then go to that same bar later that they were at, I see her and the friend I approached and they’re talking to a few other guys. I prolly should’ve went with them when they left, AS the first bar was dying down. That’s all pretty much for that night.

Monday, September 1, 2008

My Final Semester, An Introduction

Hey everyone, this is my final semester here at Radford University. There are many things that i want to do, yet am not sure if they'll happen. Deep down that's my biggest fear, that nothing will happen. That all the approaches i've done, all the frustration i went through, all the tears i cried, that it would be all for nothing at Radford.

But then from the people who supported me, i realized that to keep that faith very strong and that if nothing happens at Radford, then nothing happens, that i got so many more years to go at it. I then realized that its only just the beginning. But with that said, i still will give it my best shot. I know there are still some fears i want to tackle that i'm not at piece with. Like for some people who i use to value as higher value in the past, i'd sometimes get nervous thinking that i'd be judged by them. Recently, i def don't care about that mentally anymore but i still do feel it from time to time, only because i still think deep down i still care what others around me think in terms of gaming during the day in the computer lab. But at night, i don't give a shit. I literally don't most of the time.

Right now, i'm gonna do the best i can with it. No matter what happens or where it takes me by December, i'll accept it and still go at it in the game. I'll never give up.

Aright, Friday I just hung out with my friends and drank at my friends' place. Saturday, i walked around campus, approached a blonde girl who told me i went up to her before(Unintentionally). BUT, the funny thing was that i made a joke of the situation and still a lil bit regaming to where i told her to come with me to a frat party, where she said she was too busy for it. Saturday evening at the cafeteria, i ate wtih a girl with glasses. She seemed reserved but we kept talking. I then invite her to go to a party with me. She seems shy about going but does go. I try to have fun with her there, but she just wanted to check it out and she decided to leave early. So then i saw other freshman girls there, and decided to game them. I just had fun with them, but then their friends took them away as they were leaving.

Sunday, i gamed a blonde and her black friend. They were receptive, i made an improvement to where i let the girl know, if she didn't, that i was into her non-platonically by telling her i liked her. Got her number. Pretty much bullshitted around Sunday. I forget who i went up to, besides her. Got a facebook from this slim cute brunette whom i remember, we had eye contact back a few years ago i think.

Today, i went up to about 8 girls. Got about 4 numbers, sat and ate with two cute girls whom i will prolly be eating with now and then(I kinda was hesitant to let the one i liked most that i was into her not as a friend)...but i take it, just one approach like this won't hurt, and hey...i possibly can hang out with them. Also, in the day, sat and drank with a hot brunette girl after going up to her at starbucks, i still had some doubts about girls whom i approached at first lone who were opening to meeting up, i see them hanging out with friends, to where in my mind i think "oh nothing will happen, they'll just flake or cancel" but all that is bullshit as those assumptions are only in the mind. I don't care how many people she hangs out with, whats important is me and her. And that alone. So things have been coming along.

I'll get rid of these doubts and do things the way i want to :-D.