Hey everyone, this is my final semester here at Radford University. There are many things that i want to do, yet am not sure if they'll happen. Deep down that's my biggest fear, that nothing will happen. That all the approaches i've done, all the frustration i went through, all the tears i cried, that it would be all for nothing at Radford.
But then from the people who supported me, i realized that to keep that faith very strong and that if nothing happens at Radford, then nothing happens, that i got so many more years to go at it. I then realized that its only just the beginning. But with that said, i still will give it my best shot. I know there are still some fears i want to tackle that i'm not at piece with. Like for some people who i use to value as higher value in the past, i'd sometimes get nervous thinking that i'd be judged by them. Recently, i def don't care about that mentally anymore but i still do feel it from time to time, only because i still think deep down i still care what others around me think in terms of gaming during the day in the computer lab. But at night, i don't give a shit. I literally don't most of the time.
Right now, i'm gonna do the best i can with it. No matter what happens or where it takes me by December, i'll accept it and still go at it in the game. I'll never give up.
Aright, Friday I just hung out with my friends and drank at my friends' place. Saturday, i walked around campus, approached a blonde girl who told me i went up to her before(Unintentionally). BUT, the funny thing was that i made a joke of the situation and still a lil bit regaming to where i told her to come with me to a frat party, where she said she was too busy for it. Saturday evening at the cafeteria, i ate wtih a girl with glasses. She seemed reserved but we kept talking. I then invite her to go to a party with me. She seems shy about going but does go. I try to have fun with her there, but she just wanted to check it out and she decided to leave early. So then i saw other freshman girls there, and decided to game them. I just had fun with them, but then their friends took them away as they were leaving.
Sunday, i gamed a blonde and her black friend. They were receptive, i made an improvement to where i let the girl know, if she didn't, that i was into her non-platonically by telling her i liked her. Got her number. Pretty much bullshitted around Sunday. I forget who i went up to, besides her. Got a facebook from this slim cute brunette whom i remember, we had eye contact back a few years ago i think.
Today, i went up to about 8 girls. Got about 4 numbers, sat and ate with two cute girls whom i will prolly be eating with now and then(I kinda was hesitant to let the one i liked most that i was into her not as a friend)...but i take it, just one approach like this won't hurt, and hey...i possibly can hang out with them. Also, in the day, sat and drank with a hot brunette girl after going up to her at starbucks, i still had some doubts about girls whom i approached at first lone who were opening to meeting up, i see them hanging out with friends, to where in my mind i think "oh nothing will happen, they'll just flake or cancel" but all that is bullshit as those assumptions are only in the mind. I don't care how many people she hangs out with, whats important is me and her. And that alone. So things have been coming along.
I'll get rid of these doubts and do things the way i want to :-D.