Sunday, July 18, 2010

7/18 Comfort Notes

Excellent info by Sinn. So many other gurus in the community make comfort so damn confusing. BUT, Sinn describes it really well here. Its funny, because I do some of this naturally. I just have to realize when I'm doing day do it more.

I also realized that i'm not at a low level...considering I don't have my own place...things can be tough. But you are finding out logistics and pressing things as soon as you can.


1) Building Commonalities. Commonalities can literally save an interaction. I remember
a time I was talking to a girl at a mall in Scottsdale. Nothing was working and she
kept mentioning that she had to go meet her friend. So in frustration I mentioned that
this was worse than bombing on stage at stand up. She lit up… She mentioned that
she loved stand up and we started talking eventually leading to an instant date and a
very solid phone number. It’s very important to remember the “Go First” principle
when it comes to commonalities. You want to volunteer things you are into first and
let the girl agree with you, rather than vice versa.

2) Establishing a conspiracy. Conspiracies are key to all relationships. In addition to
establishing a cooperative dynamic, conspiracies allow you to build a huge amount of
rapport. Conspiracies essentially are inside jokes between you and the girl. You want
to establish an "us against the world" dynamic. Examples of conspiracies range from
role plays and games to simply explaining how the two of you are the coolest people
in the coffee shop.

3) Demonstrating that you understand women and her specifically. Demonstrating that
you understand women is key to building an amazing amount of rapport. I even go so
far as to call it speaking Womanese. When you can convey to a girl that you
understand the way women think, and feel, you will be able to communicate with her
on an entirely different level. It’s also important to show her that you understand her
as a person. This is where cold reading and framing really comes into play. By
knowing some basic truisms about women and relationships, you can demonstrate a
deep understanding of her reality.

4) Making your intentions clear. This is where I differ from almost all major pick up
gurus. I tell girls explicitly that I am hitting on them, trying to get in their pants, etc.
The reason I do this is because it forces a woman to make a choice about how she is
interested in me. I want her to be interested in me as a woman is interested in a man.

Not as a shopping buddy, not as a friend. I want her to know that I am interested in
her in a romantic/sexual nature. To do this we use statements of intent. These can be
as simple as telling a girl you think she’s sexy to telling her you are hitting on her, or
even trying to get in her pants. In comfort you need to make your intentions known so
that the girl can know how you’re going to act around her down the line. In fact if you
can get a girl to accept enough statements of intent it is very easy to sexually escalate.

5) Demonstrating a wide range of emotions. In attraction we need to convey that we are
40 foot tall Alpha Males full of confidence and superior sperm. In comfort we need to
convey that we are a real person with a real life, friends, etc… One of the ways we do
that is by showing the girl a wide range of emotions. By demonstrating that we’re
comfortable being vulnerable or opening up about our families; or talking about
something that makes you really mad, you build comfort. One of the questions a girl
always asks herself when she’s meeting a guy she’s attracted to is “What would it be
like if he was my Boyfriend.” By showing her a wide range of emotions you build

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good notes on comfort there man.

I definitely need to work on my comfort-building.